My daughter's stroke
Two years ago, on December 28th, my youngest daughter had a stroke at three years old. This was the scariest day of my life. We had a normal life, until around 7-8 pm my daughter dropped on the floor after dinner and our lives have been different ever since. Initially, my little one couldn’t speak or walk. Now, she talks fine and if you see her, you think she is a perfect child. However, she is still recovering and with pray that one day she will have normal use of her right hand and foot.
Two years later, here are some of the things that I feel:
I don’t know how to describe this, but I feel blessed and sad at the same time. I feel blessed to have my daughter with me and I feel awful when I see other kids that are in worst conditions or the children that didn’t survive the stroke. My heart aches and I am always lost for words to share with those who do not have their little ones with them anymore. (The only way I find peace from these feelings, is in God and the promise that one day we will be reunited).
I feel happy to see how far she has gone in the healing process, but I also feel a little guilty with the thought that she could potentially be farther along her recovery if I work harder in her therapy. (I guess the mom guilt kicks in)
I am spoiling one child and somewhat neglecting the other. Even though my youngest looks fine, she still needs a lot of assistance with her everyday routine. Using the restroom, dressing, eating certain foods, and other activities that require the use of both hands. Don’t take me wrong, I am not complaining, because, I know this is not a big deal in comparison with other children that have different challenges (having spent time in the hospital and doing therapy for two years, I have seen many kids and I know that our scenario is not a big deal, compare to the challenges they face). However, I also do not want to minimize my feelings, because it has been a small adjustment to our new normal. Our new life of therapy being part of our daily life and stimulating my child constantly to use her hand or pick up her foot correctly, or sometimes having a moment of panic when she does facial expressions that remind us the stroke. It’s funny because I feel like I could open my own therapy practice, as all her toys now are therapy focus. With my oldest daughter, I feel like I have neglected a little bit because naturally, the little one has needed so much attention. We have spent hours over these two years in therapy and she has tagged along and spent lots of time waiting for sister to have therapy. We have tried to take advantage to do homeschool during this time, but we have not been successful at it.
cast on left arm to make her use “righty”
she is not a big fan of it at all.
In conclusion, even though I may come across as being too hard on myself….all I wanted was to be transparent. Having said this, at the end of the day, God reminds me of how much He loves me and that I am a good mom to my kids and I can give all these feelings of inadequacy to Him. I don’t have to carry this alone, He will help me with the load and He has also given me other women that understand my journey and we get to encourage one another.
