Raw honest feelings
I know this sounds like a cliche but if it wasn't for God, I do not know how I would have survived the first 32 hours after Adela had the stroke. This was the scariest day of my life, because I had no control (most of us think that we are in control of our lives, but we really aren't). One moment she was fine and the next I couldn't figure out what was happening and I feared for her life. When I prayed and gave her over to God, He gave me the strength and peace that I needed. When we got to the hospital after she was airlifted, they did an MRI and initially told us that it was a stroke and then later even said it could be a brain tumor.....when the doctor said that, my husband had to walk away for a moment and I was trying to grasp what was said to me. Thank God our lead pastor at church was there and he basically helped us digest that report. As a pastor myself, I have been there for people that have gone through traumatic experiences and I always hurt with them. I am a very sensitive person and cry easily when faced with pain, sorrow, brokenness, etc....but now that I was at the other end, I was able to see God in a new way. I was able to truly say, God is in control. Having said that, I still prayed for the Lord to give us more time with her, because I wasn't ready to face that, before the stroke, I had been thinking how fast my kids were growing and how I wanted to enjoy them in a quality manner and if my little one went to sleep in Jesus, I would live with guilt (at least that's what went through my mind at the moment) We praise God that later the tumor was ruled out!
My husband and I reached out to friends and family requesting prayer and it was unbelievable the love and support we received. At the end of each day when she was asleep, I would journal the day's events, progress, my own feelings, etc.... I would also read all the text messages sent to us and just find comfort in knowing that the Lord was in control and had given us people to love us through this season in our lives.
