Fight!

Many times go to war (figuratively speaking) and do not even understand what is it that we are fighting! If we do not know who or what is the real enemy, we will be defeated as we have been before. You know exactly what I mean!

All of a sudden you realize that you are in the middle of an unpredicted battle and worst of all you don’t even know who you are really fighting. Yeah, it may appear to be with your spouse or children. Conflict arises and you find yourself in a fight or flight mode. Unfortunately, it seems like fighting is what many of us end up doing. And at the end of the battle, we may think someone won, but the reality is that no one did.

The reality is that in relational battles no one really wins because we were fighting the wrong “enemy.” My husband is not the enemy when we get in a disagreement, my children are not the enemy when I feel disrespected or undermined by them. Teenagers and toddlers can be notorious for putting up a good rebellious front. Instead of reacting, we need to stop and ask what is the real problem, what is causing the tension, stress, arguments, fears, etc… It’s amazing how successful organizations invest time, research and money to figure “problems or issues” out, but many people put little interest in trying to figure out what causes problems in the most important relationships ever! Marital and parenting relationships should be guarded, nurtured, and studied. I believe that not many teenagers woke up one random morning and were all of a sudden disconnect from their parents. I don’t think many affairs happened because of a moment of weakness. (Of course, this could be a possibility but not a likability!) I believe relationships are broken because little by little an enemy creeped in and we didn’t realize it because we were too busy fighting the wrong battle.

So let’s put in the hard work to admit that we need help, counsel, advice, information, and let’s educate ourselves and stop assuming we have it all put together. This is not a sign of weakness but of wisdom. It is foolish to go into the wrong battle and fight the wrong enemy. It is foolish to think we don’t need help from those who have succeeded. It is foolish to listen to the foolish. It is foolish to ignore a problem because it means I might discover something about myself that I don’t want.

So, let’s buy that book, listen to that seminar, seek for wisdom and advice from those that have good values and experience and above all, let’s be humble and ask God to show us who is the real enemy and with God’s help let’s change.