Transitioning from working to stay at home mom!

I always knew that I wanted to be at home with my kids while they were little.  I was blessed to have a job that allowed me to bring my kids along and they were also able to get involved too. However, the dream was that at the right time I would transition to be a stay at home mom, the only thing that was not in the plan was for my 3 year old (at that time) to have a stroke.  Of course this life event made it a priority for me to stay at home immediately.  

I thought this transition would be an easy one, because as I said earlier, my work as a pastor allowed me to bring my kids in to the church and our babysitter would watch them there, or at home when I was working from home.  My husband did a lot of the caring in the evenings when I was away for work and most of the times I would leave food ready and other things to make his load easier, after his long day of work.  I can honestly say that in my mind, this transition was going to be a piece of cake.  Since, in my mind, I did the stay at home mom thing and work at the same time.  However, when the time came, I have found myself lost most of the time and feeling out of place.  I have to be patient with myself considering we moved to another city, the emotional stress I went through after my daughter's stroke and also adapting to our new normal.  What do I meant by our "new normal"?  Well, life has slowed down, because my little one requires more attention and now she needs help with things she previously didn’t need, because the right side of her body still a little weak.  She had to learn to walk and move her arm/hand again after the stroke.  Now we go to therapy on a regular basis to continue to strengthen those brain connections for her hand/arm, leg/foot to be back at 100%.

Before my daughter had the stroke, I had been working so hard at church and home that I was burning the candle in both ends.  I feel like I am not the same person I was before.  I use to be able to do so much, multitasked better, and definitely had more focus and determination.  I feel like now things are monumental and it takes me forever to accomplish my daily goals.  So, before I get hard on myself, I need to be my own cheerleader and therapist.  I have to remind myself of the journey and that is ok for me to be a little slow as I adapt and continue to grow in my new life.  I need to remind myself of my strengths and positives.

My work before was not the same thing everyday, there was a routine yes, but also new things to tackle on a regular basis, so creating a routine for homeschool has been one of the hardest thing for me to do.  Also, managing the house and extra home therapy that we need to do for my daughter, taking the girls to music lessons and to appointments weekly, absorbs all of the time. 

So here are the practical things I have learned and I am still working on during this transition time:

1. Patience with me. 
2. Be my own cheerleader.  Parents you know how hard we can be on ourselves, specially the ladies.
3. Make a realistic schedule. Instead of a million things in it, start with blocks of time and once this is master move to a more detail one (if that is what you need).
4. Kids need to be busy.  I have learned this from a three week therapy my daughter had for three hours daily.  I was surprised to see how well she did.  The therapist, had a list of games that she would do daily and she had her busy the whole time, with games and activities.  I have noticed when my kids do not know what is coming next and I don’t have them busy, then they can easily have meltdowns.
5. Build a quiet time for them to enjoy some free play alone and nap (mine don’t nap). 
6. Stick to the routine for the kids to thrive.  (This has been so hard for me). 
7. Put them to bed early and have some sanity time for me. (Still working on this one).
8. Plenty of sleep.  I need to go to bed early so that I can be rested, have patience and get a lot done in the morning before they wake up.  I use to be a night owl for most of my life, but I can’t anymore, I have been going to bed late trying to get things done in the evening but the only thing I want to do in the evening is vegetate and end up waisting time on Pinterest or just googling things like, how killer whales kill great white sharks, lol.
9. Wake up early for: quiet time with God/Recharge battery.  Prep for the day and get things done to help me move faster, for example, empty the dishwasher, have lunch bags ready, breakfast ready, etc...  Some of my own work for the blog and other projects I have going on. 
10. Limit my phone time- this includes leaving my phone on the other side of the house, so I am not tempted to answer every text, email or call.  Years ago people use to answer the phone when they got home, and their email once or twice a day, they did fine and survive, so can I.  Once again, the moments I get distracted, I see my kids behave differently, and personally this affects my mood too (specially if they are acting out, because they need my attention).   My personal goal is to check on the phone 2 or 3 times a day, perfect time would be quiet time, or when they are doing crafts.  This is different for everyone, just be aware of how your phone can be a distraction and can slow you down. 
11. Planing meals ahead of time.
12. Have a routine with house chores and definitely if your kids are old enough get them involved in the chores.  I had my 4 year old rinse all the food from plates so that she could be busy, while I put things away in the kitchen.  Yes, I know her work won't be perfect, but it will teach her responsibility and will keep her busy while I work fast doing something else in the kitchen.
13. Lastly, I need to stick to my routine and guard my time from anything that comes my way.  Now, I ask do I really need to go there, buy that, join that class/play date?  I am spontaneous but, I am also more cautious that I am not all over the place.

In conclusion, this transition has been hard, but I have enjoyed 100% the extra time I have with my kids.  They are little only once and I want to enjoy them every day and every moment.  Life can change in a moment and then all we have is the memories we have made.

My hat goes off to all the single parents, homeschool parents, working parents.  This is not an easy task, and never think you loose yourself as a parent, because you are not doing your profession or advancing (climbing the latter) at the rate you may want to.  Parenting is the greatest calling ever and it should have our 100% focus, no matter what the circumstances are (working or stay at home).  We work with what we have and we keep in mind that one day our little ones could be the next president, great doctor, hard worker in whatever field they choose, but above all, lovers of Jesus and citizens that will make a difference in their world.  Parenting is the most rewarding experience we can go through, as we mold, shape and guide lives.  I love to hear them giggle, laugh and have fun, it always makes my heart full.