Kids and parents most powerful weapon
My youngest daughter had a stroke almost two years ago when she was 3 years old. I am so blessed that since the stroke she has had a fruitful recovery. She is not 100% yet, but she is walking, talking and moving her arm and hand which she didn’t before. Right now we are working with her motor skills for her hand and foot. In doing so, I have decided that we will cast her good arm for three straight weeks which she already had done earlier this year as part of an intensive therapy program. As it is, she whines and complains when we cast her arm a couple of hours a day, so you can imagine how she will be when we cast it for three solid weeks (I will take it off to sleep and shower).
Yesterday was her first entire day with the cast on, and let me tell you she knows how to wear me out, the constant complain about the cast and everything in life, was driving me crazy. My little one knows how to be CONSISTENT, PERSEVERANT, and anything else that she needs to do to get her way. She doesn’t give up! (Which is a good quality if I know how to teach her to build on the positive of her personality and control the negative of it). As usual, I learn so much from this moments with my kids and I would like to share them with you.
TO BE IN ONE ACCORD- kids know how to play their cards. They know which parent, grandparent, auntie or uncle will give them what they want and they will try everything they can to get their way. This is why it’s important that all the caretakers are in one accord. I told my husband that I wanted to cast her arm for three weeks and to see if he would support me with that. I know that I will probably be at a breaking point and dad will need to step in and help with the rule. If he doesn’t support me with this, then all authority will be pulled from under me.
PREPARE EMOTIONALLY- when we did our intensive therapy for three weeks at the hospital and we stayed at the Ronald McDonald house, my daughter cried and made it difficult to dress her and resisted to put her shoes on every single morning I got her ready to go to therapy. At the beginning it was starting to get to me (I knew deep inside I was getting REALLY DESPERATE), so I told myself everyday, “It’s ok, she is going to cry and that is part of the routine.” Just doing this emotional preparation went a long way….happy way. Eventually, she decreased on the morning crying (I never said she stopped completely, lol).
ADDRESS FEELINGS- I believe that kids not only throw tantrums and act out because they don’t get what they want, but because they are not understood. (Sometimes I throw an adult tantrum when I am not understood too….don’t judge me, lol, I promised you, I am not proud of me when that happens). I tell my daughter, “I know this is not what you want and it’s not fun, but in the long run is what is best for you.” “Please tell me how you feel or what you need instead of whining.” This usually helps, reduce the anxiety, stress, tantrum, whatever the case may be. I also tell her, “When you cry like that, it makes me feel frustrated or sad, could you please use your words instead?”
HAVE A SUPPORT GROUP- have a friend or group of friends that you can share what you are doing and ask them to encourage you when you are at a breaking point. Send them a quick text message telling them you need help, even to have a thumbs up emoji sent back to you can be so up-lifting.
In conclusion, I believe that kids most powerful weapons are tantrums and perseverance. Parents most powerful weapons are (for me is prayer and then) perseverance/consistency. Rules are always true, obedience should always be expected. I know sometimes we get caught up with life and we do not follow through with the things we tell our kids. I actually wrote a blog post on this. Click here. As parents let us prepare ourselves emotionally and be consistent with our parenting, this brings kids security, even when they don’t like it. Remember we are the parents.
