Dads, this is why you are so important.

I am not a psychologist or parenting expert, but I do have personal experience and tons of stories I have heard & observed from others.  Having said this, I want to talk to all of the dads.

 First of all, I want you to know that you are amazing and important.  I realized that many times moms get more attention and almost made to look as the more important and vital parent.  However, dads, you are just as important and if I may say secretly, I think even more crucial to the life of a child. 

So, I am old school and think father's are the leaders of every home, so this makes you in my opinion the most important parent (and yes both just as important, but I still think there is something extra special about you).  For over a decade I worked in a men's world, and was able to minister to women and children, but I always respected my male colleagues, because of my personal belief that God has given them an extra anointing as the priest, leaders of their homes & church.  I don't know how true this is but I heard in a marriage seminar that when dads are spiritual leaders in the home, the children have a higher percentage chance to grow up to have a relationship with God, than when mom is the only spiritual leader.  If you are not a Christian, I would like to suggest, that when a dad is the leader, involved, parent of the home, children have a higher chance to grow up to be a healthy adult.  Some of you may be thinking, well, I am a single dad, so this doesn't apply to me.  Of course it does!  You can be the leader of your home, by modeling to your children they kind of father they should be one day, the kind of men and citizen.   Also, the kind of husband.....yes, you heard me right.  You see, even if you are not married, because of a divorce or death, the way you respect your children's mother and treat and refer to other women, will teach them about the future but also of the kind of person you are now.  Hatred, frustration and pain from difficult separations, have no business in your kid's life, no matter how old they are.  To engage your kids in this battle, is only revealing an ugly side of your character and hurting them to the core, with an impact for life.

Second, there is a reason why superhero movies are so popular.  All of us want to have a hero and that is you, dad.  Every little kid want their dad to be the biggest and strongest, the one who protects them and shelters them.  As your child's hero, make sure you protect and take care of them, do not allow life to get in the way from this amazing responsibility.  Do not let NBA or NFL, or any other hobby rob you of your time with the ones that consider you a superstar and the only all-star player in their game of life.  If not careful to guard this, later it might be too late and you will become the villain (teenage years when they know everything and you don't).  Also, every dad also has the responsibility to point their children to our One and true Superhero, Jesus.

Third, quality time, physical attention, words of affirmation are so important.  Quality time, is not to just being present physically, but to be engaged, to play what they like, to asked them questions and address their emotions.  Physical attention...my kids love to hug, wrestle and be thrown around by my husband.  Even my adult son, loves to wrestle with dad, not only for a healthy competition to see who is stronger, but I believe deep down, it meets a physical need too.  My girls, love to be hugged and picked up by their dad, when you  see their face, you would think that they are in Disney or something.  I know some of you might have not come from a home where this was done.  Well, this is your time to break that generational curse, and be more affectionate with your children.  Words are important too.  I have heard dads make fun of their kids and I have seen the damage that caused to their kids, who are now adult.  Yes, that includes when playing around, even if you say just kidding.  Do not ever put your child down, even in silly competition.  Always build them up and your spouse, or your kids mom, even if you hate her.

Lastly, remember that your children are little only once, the are teenagers only once, they are young adults only once, etc... So, look at the mirror and tell yourself that you are amazing and that you are the most important and influential person in your kid's life, and then take action as such.  My dad and I both lived in two different countries growing up, so our visit were not very often.  At 15 years old, I saw at an event I attended, a father had his daughter on his lap, as he had a conversation with other people and it was then, when I realized how much I missed my dad. I didn't have a hero to run to when he got home, I wasn't picked up and thrown up in the air by my dad and didn't have those words of affirmation.  Geographic distance kept as apart, but what is more sad, is when a phone, a computer, a hobby, keep children apart from their daddy and hero that lives in the same home.  I do have to say that, the all the years of not having my dad, helped me to draw even closer to God, as my heavenly Father, and He filled a huge void.  Now, as an adult, I still have a need for a father and God continues to filled that need.  I am also blessed that my dad and I now live in the same country and we both look forward catching up.  So be encouraged because it is never too late to be your kids (or adult kids) hero.