Have fun together, stay together!
It is not a secret that the families that play together stay together! I have observe over my lifetime (I am a people watcher), that my friends that had parents that had fun with them stayed together. I don’t only mean the parents stayed together but the family connection. I also had friends that their parents worked so much they never had true family time and even though the marriage survived the family connection didn’t.
Questions to think About.
What is my goal as a family and with my spouse?
What are my priorities?
Do I realize that my kids are only little once?
Do I realize I cannot go back in time? (of course all of us know this, but is this reflected in the way I live my daily life and the choices I make?)
What type of connection do I want to have with my kids and spouse now and in 3, 5 and 10 years?
A lot of times we live life one day at a time, which is a good thing because that is all we have, but do we have goals? Goals are important because they give direction and purpose to each day. However, having goals is not enough. I have to know how am I going to reach the goals and be realistic about it. “I will be a millionaire in 10 years,” and how exactly will you do that. Will you go to school to be surgeon or lawyer, will you invest? Same with our family, we need to take a minute and do the obvious, have a plan on how to reach our goals. Of course don’t worry, the plan might change many times along the way, but as long as we keep moving towards our goal with an intentional approach we can trust the rest to God.
Priorities, big word, but how many of us truly live by our priorities? Probably some, but not all of us! Depending on how we were thought growing up or the disciplines we acquired and chose to have as an adult, we will be able to have adequate priorities and be able to follow through. If you grew up in a home with clear defined priorities and were thought to identify them and follow through, this is great and may be easier for you to do. However, if you grew up in a home where life just accidentally happened and there were no clear priorities, this may be a little challenging, because you never saw it modeled to you. The good news is that we can learn this and use it to our advantage. Priorities, will help us identify what is really important so that we can have boundaries. If my relationship with my kids is a priority, than I need to be able to turn of the phone, close the table, stop what I am doing and make that time for them. We are not talking about left over time or when you can actually squeeze them in. Our kids and spouse deserve quality time. Prioritized time.
As much as I want to say that my husband and kids are my priorities, I have to be honest and admit that many times I have put work, cleaning the house, cooking, service before them. There is a tension and real struggle between the balance of life. Specially because we have so many things to juggle. As a stay at home mom (now), it is hard sometimes to manage, homeschool, cooking, and learning another language since we have moved to Thailand. My husband and I work together to get things accomplished but we have to be intentional and constantly keep before us, what are our priorities or else we can get consumed in survival mode.
As I am writing this, my family is in great need in some away time. We need to get out of our house and go somewhere for some down time and fun time. So we have our suitcase ready and as soon as the opportunity opens up in the next few days, we will go for a couple of days to the mountains. If it was my dream world we would take a full vacation but we can’t for many reasons including the limitations that this pandemic brings. However, we will do the best we can with what we have to drive 1-2 hours away from here and have fun together as a family. UNO, Yatzee, Spot It, plus a few more are packed and ready to go!!!
When my daughter had a stroke at three years old, I realized life is precious and is a daily gift. None of us know if we will be here tomorrow. Our children are little only once, and we cannot go back. We must treasure and make the best of every moment, remembering that our relationship with them now will also affect our relationship with them in the future. Of course, this doesn’t mean, if we haven’t had much of a relationship with them now, we can’t change that. Today is the best thing that can happen to us, because:
Today we can start change (us as individuals and family)
Today we can choose (what is best for my family)
Today we can stop (the madness of life and obstacles that take away from family)
Today we can learn (what is best for our marriages and children)
Today we can have fun (set a time to connect with kids and spouse)
Looking ahead and verbalizing the type of relationship we want with our kids and spouse its good, because we will have something to work towards. Do I want my daughters to trust me and talk to me about what’s important during their teenage years? Well, what am I doing now to make sure that happens? Making time now to listen and hear what is important to them, will help build the relationship. If we don’t make time to hear our kids stories and dig into their lives now that they are little, it will be a little more difficult for them to trust us and easier to trust their friends. Listening to them and our spouse doesn’t always mean, we will correct or judge them for what they are saying. We need to discern when to listen and when to teach from what they are saying. One of my kids told me the other day they lied to me….this took a lot of guts and I could see a little fear in them (they know I have no tolerance for it) however, I felt that God wanted me to just listen. I did! I told her thank you for sharing.
Have fun together and stay together!
