Why prepare for a blended family
Several months ago a colleague friend was having premarital counseling and he invited my husband and I to join in the session so we could share our experience as a blended family. This was helpful to the couple being counseled, because one person had never been married and the other was divorced with a child.
Marriage is a beautiful part of life that has its joys and challenges. When you have a blended family, it comes with some extra joys and challenges that are important to discuss, prepare and be aware of before saying “I do.”
I believe intentional people have a higher chance to succeed in anything they are a part of as oppose to those who react when the challenges come. Having said this, it is crucial to work through some important topics before saying “I do.” To enter into this type of relationship blinded is a mistake that will cause bumps a long the way that could have been prevented. When we find ourselves in a moment of difficulty, specially of this kind, we have to deal with the layer of feelings involved at that moment depending on what the actual issue may be (and letting feelings and emotions get in the way is not a good idea). For example, your 16 years old step-child might ask for a car and your spouse has said yes, but they never discussed that with you and in their mind it doesn’t matter, because the car will come out of the step-child’s account. However, now you feel left out and undermined. Things like this will come up and it is important to be ready ahead of time.
In my blended family we have had lots of joys and also challenges. We discussed some things before we got married and I knew I was going to have some extra tears. I chose to say “I do” anyways and I do not look back. However, if I could change anything, I would have spend more time preparing for my blended family. Of course we all know that surprises will come and that’s ok because that’s life & we cannot plan for the unexpected, but I CAN PLAN, for many other things that will happen. My mother, who also married into a blended family, tells me that she wishes she could have prepared on how to be a step-mother. She had the best intentions and desires to love her new children and husband, but didn’t know how to do it and now looking back, she feels she made a lot of mistakes that could have been prevented.
For these reasons I have a course available to help couples who are serious about their relationship and want to prepare ahead of time to have a unified and successful blended family. Fill the form below and let’s talk and get you ready! If you are already married it is never too late to go over this and enhance and fortify your marriage.
